


Of Love, Blood and Umami

by Donfelito



Series: Brooklyn Nine Nine Crossover Universe [1]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Forensic Files (TV)
Genre: F/M, Forensic Files, Murder, Police
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-12 21:18:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12968619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donfelito/pseuds/Donfelito
Summary: Charles Boyle and Rosa Diaz are both living happy lives with their respective partners. Or are they?





	Of Love, Blood and Umami

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there!
> 
> This is my first fanfic. Err... This is my first written anything if I'm being honest. I hope you like it. Things are going to get wild.

**Of Love, Blood and Umami**

 

_ [FilmRise Logo appears on Screen] _

 

_ Narrator: For all people around them, Charles Boyle and Genevieve Mirren where the perfect couple. They both shared a love for food and animals. Most importantly, both of them adored their adopted son, Nikolaj. _

 

_ It was not unusual though, for the new family to keep a low profile. Charles would often be seen at office parties and gatherings by himself. That is why, when neither Genevieve or Nikolaj were not seen for long periods of time, nobody thought anything of it. _

 

_ It wasn't until one fateful morning in 2018 when people started noticing that something weird was going on. _

 

_ [Forensic Files Intro plays] _

 

_ Narrator: The Brooklyn Nine-Nine Police Department is home to some of the most talented and brave detectives in New York’s metropolitan area. Charles Boyle is one of them. A condecorated hero awarded the medal of Valor for protecting another officer in the line of duty. Besides being a great detective, Charles Boyle is also known for being a good friend and a loving father. This was all about to change today for Charles Boyle is not being himself. _

 

Jake: Hey Charles, do you happen to know where I left my cereal bowl? I don’t think I can keep my hands like this for another minute and the milk is starting to drip through my fingers!

 

Charles: Did you check your snack drawer?

 

Jake: Nah. The mice in there have become feral. I lost a finger last week trying to get my backup hotdog from in there. Ok, it wasn’t a finger. It was another hotdog.

 

Charles: Hey, don’t worry! Totally understand! Here, use one of my bowls!

 

Jake: Aw yeah! Boyle’s Bowl! 

 

Jake lets all the cereal go from his hands into the bowl and starts licking the remainder of the milk off his hands.

 

Captain Holt: Peralta! 

 

Jake: Captaiiiin! You want some cereal?

Captain Holt: In my office now.

 

Jake: OK. Someone woke up in a jokey mood today.

 

_ Jake follows Captain. Holt into his office and closes the door behind him. _

 

_ \-- _

_ Rosa comes walking to Charles’ desk _

 

Rosa: Boyle, we gotta talk.

 

Charles: Hey Rosa. How’s the sweetest woman in the Nine Nine doing?

 

Rosa: Not now, Boyle!

 

_ Rosa grabs Charles by the neck of his shirt and pulls him up off his chair. _

 

Charles: Okay! Okay! 

 

Rosa whispering: They found it, Boyle.

 

Charles: They found what?

 

_ Rosa pulls Charles closer to her face. _

 

Rosa whispering: It.

 

Charles: They found IT? 

 

_ Charles manages to free himself away from Rosa’s grip. _

 

Charles: They found it? Oh my God. They found it. They found it.

 

Rosa: Calm down Boyle. Come, let’s grab something to eat.

 

Charles: But I just ate. I had the nicest, most flavourful Black Pudding Crumpets. Let me tell you. The secret is-

 

Rosa: BOYLE! Focus!

 

Charles: OK. We’re going!

 

_ \-- _

 

Captain Holt: Jake, as I’m sure you’re aware, Boyle has been acting strange for the past couple of days.

 

Jake: Yes. I have totally been aware of that. Boyle never acts strange so of course I noticed right away how strange he’s act-

 

Captain Holt: Stop. Jake, this is a serious matter. I’ve received a report identifying a body found in a forest trail as that of Genevieve Mirren. 

 

Jake: Boyle’s Genevieve?! Captain. You gotta be joking.

 

Captain Holt: If I were joking you would be laughing. Are you laughing?

 

Jake: Heeeeeey!

 

Captain Holt: See for yourself.

 

Captain Holt pushes the file towards a surprised Jake. In the file there are several pictures of the naked body of a middle aged woman who can easily be identified as Genevieve Mirren.

 

Jake: Aeeeeeeee!

 

Captain Holt: Yes. Quite the display.

 

Jake: Her neck…

 

Captain Holt: A “Colombian Necktie”...

 

_ Narrator: A “Colombian Necktie”, is a brutal method of murder wherein the victim's throat would be slashed horizontally, with a knife, and their tongue pulled out through the open wound. _

 

Jake: That’s it. I’m so not wearing neckties for a while. Sorry Captain. I told you it’s not my style and this just proves it.

 

Captain Holt: Now, this body. Jake, this body has been outside, exposed to the elements for over 3 days. How is Boyle sitting out there acting so normal.

 

Jake: AHA! I knew this was a joke! First you said Boyle was acting strange! Now you say he’s acting normal! Which one is it, Captain?!

Captain Holt: Jake…

 

Jake: Wait a minute. If Boyle’s always strange and you say he’s acting strange now… That mean that him acting normal is him acting strange! VOILA!

 

Captain Holt: Jake… Keep this between you and me for now. 

 

Jake: You got it, Captain.

 

_ Narrator: Captain Holt was right in thinking there was something going on. The body of Genevieve was found with two shots to the chest and a slashed throat. The detectives that arrived on the scene quickly realized the whole thing was a setup. The park just being a secondary location for the body. There was no sign of a gunshot going off in the vicinity and the body was laying on top of blood stains in a manner that would have been impossible were this the place where the body fell right after being shot. _

 

Detective Roberto Perez: We got a call from the woman who found the body while walking her dog. As soon as I got to the place I noticed several things that looked off. The body was found naked but there was no sign of sexual assault. Beside the body, though, we found what turned out to be bloody semen.

 

_ Narrator: The semen was sent to the laboratories for DNA testing and analyzed side by side to repeat offenders’ DNA but unluckily the sample didn’t lead to a name. _

 

_ Meanwhile at the 5th best pizza place in town: _

 

Rosa: Boyle. We’re not here to eat.

 

Charles: Oh but Rosa. You cannot expect me not to eat when you take me to the 5th best pizza place in town according to Boyle’s email blast!

 

Rosa: Alright! Boyle, they found the body. What are we going to do?

 

_ Charles savouring a slice of pizza. _

 

Charles: I.. don’t know. 

 

_ Charles reaches over the table and puts his hand on top of Rosa’s hand. _

 

Rosa: Ch-Charles.

 

Charles: I knew this was a bad idea.

 

Rosa: Don’t worry. We just got to figure out what the next steps are.

  
  
  


Charles: What I don’t understand is how they were able to find the body if you were supposed to get rid of it.

 

Rosa: It’s Pimento. He followed me to the park. Then things got heated and we…

 

Charles: What? Pimento?! But I thought you were done with him!

 

Rosa: I am! I just can’t say no to that beast! His sweat is just intoxicating. We had our usual wild sex and by the time we were done the body just made us real horny again. So we left to my apartment to get freaky and we never got around to it. Anyways, this is neither here nor there.

 

Charles: First of all. It really hurts me how you just plainly admit you cheated on me right in front of my dead girlfriend! Second; Never got around to it?! Rosa, you didn’t just forget to get your laundry out of the dryer. You forgot to get rid of the body of the person we just murdered!

 

Rosa: I know! Sorry OK?

 

_ Charles spits some of the pizza he is eating into his spit bucket. _

 

Charles: This place is going to hell. The sauce just kicked them down from their cozy 5ft place to ol’ Sal’s 8th place.

 

_ End of Chapter One. _


End file.
